I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
