If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
