brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
