So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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