Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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