I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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