dude i'm inner monologue high
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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