We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Even my vagina gasped.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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