He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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