So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
