Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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