You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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