i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
