Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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