Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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