All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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