he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
