I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
