ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
