We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
