His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
