Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
