She is in my trunk
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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