Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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