The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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