We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
