i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
