talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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