New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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