I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
