i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
