I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Houston, we have a blender
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
