Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
