I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
