Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
