you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
