Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
