I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She bit a glass in half.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
