I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
