pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
