i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
