remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
