Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
