Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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