so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize