So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
50% drunk capacity currently
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
