i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
