I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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