Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
