I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
