we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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