What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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