No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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