I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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