no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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