I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
