u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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