I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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