Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
