this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
